Scream - BoA

You scream
But there's nobody to hear
It doesn't matter
It's only you and me and all of your fears
So scream
A Halloween serenade
Illusions shattered
Wait 'til you're really afraid


i luverrr you, boa. hahah.
I've been sick of life recently. Things just need to slow down and chill out -___-

FINISHED !

Finally finished the DBQ! And all it took was locking myself in a room with no laptop for 5 hours 8D

Oh good grief, I hope I finish everything before DCON T____T

spring~

I can't seem to finish writing a dbq without stopping every 5 minutes to go downstairs and get food. But oh well (o:

SPRING BREAK NEEDS TO BE LONGER !

SPRING BREAK PLEASE COME SOONER.

i love you.

please

come back to me

i need you.


very badly.


and i'm sure every FREAKING JUNIOR WHO'S STILL UP AT THIS UNGODLY HOUR DOES TOO D:<

GRASLDKFJOWEIJF

-____-

So, I guess the sad truth is that a lot of "normal" high school kids are anything but good.
Today was the last homegroup before Confirmation, and so the adults left all the kids outside to eat, drink, be merry. At first it was awkwardly quiet, but then one of the girls started opening up about how mad she was that her parents grounded her for coming home late, drunk, and wasted. And then another girl started saying how she got drunk for the first time at a party, but her brother ratted her out. And then the son of one of the group leaders smokes behind his mother's back. and all this good stuff. At least one guy from servite was "innocent"? hah -__-
Basically, they just lost all my respect that the past two years have built. What a wonderful way to end home group.

ohh boy I was slapped in the face with reality. Oxford is like, the ultimate shelter, isn't it. ._____.

boom chika pow KABLOOEY!

pfft, I'll fix myself if you fix yourself first. take THAT.


-----

ehhh?!

HAN GENG WANTS TO LEAVE SM ENTERTAINMENT? NOOOOOOO T_______T

Is this karma for that one time I made fun of all these people going, "JAE BUM NOOOOOO" back during the whole 2PM thing? not funny!
ughhh karma's a betch.

In all seriousness, I feel so out of the loop. Today I logged into livejournal for the first time in... a while haha. I really need to log in more in order to stay updated... How long has this been going on?! Apparently SM Entertainment is a no-go for Han Geng because he feels like they're over-working him. So it would be much better for his health and happiness to start fresh in China with a new agency. Now, I don't know the details of the situation because I just found out, but all the same there's a bigger dilemma than Han Geng leaving, and SJM disbanding, and who knows what. I never really considered how these talent agencies actually treated the guys. Their lives seem so glamorous, they have great talent, and heeeello they most of them are gorgeous.
I've seen some of the NEWS and Arashi concert documentaries, and their schedules are friggin crazy. But I am guilty of wishing to be in their shoes, because their lives seem so fun and awesome... but I guess that just goes to show how little the public really knows, eh?

mehehhhh T___T Han Geng requested the courts to terminate his contract with SM, and the case is in April. I really wish he would stay and everything could be back to normal la-de-da again, but the sad truth is that he's not happy. And like Jae Bum, he's the leader (of SJM... not sure about Super Junior though). Even if he loses the case and he's somehow FORCED to stay... he's gonna have no passion and the whole thing'll just be awkward for him and the rest of the members. Basically, nothing'll be the same again.

sighh. This sucks hahah. Even so, I want him to win the case, because it'd be so inhumane if they forced him to stay o___o

i hate

hot weather.
hahah and I hate how I become such a wimp when it's hot like this... Dx
but oh well, I'll get over it sometime. Especially since spring is coming up soon... and then SUMMER XC all over again! whoohoo.

Anyway. Judy's blog got me thinking haha. I REALLY REALLY hate election time and I'm kinda glad Key Club's gotten it over with. But I hate it. I always have. It's like, you gotta let go and trust that people will use their best judgement. That's the hardest part. Sometimes it works out, and other times it doesn't. Whatever happens happens, and you can't do a goshdarn thing about it.
It's that risk that I absolutely hate. And I get really depressed when I see that some people just do things for college. College this, college that. If you're gonna do something for college, at least begin early so you have a chance to try it out and develop SOME KIND OF SENTIMENT for it.

People are starting to freak about about college, especially since seniors have gotten acceptance/rejection letters, and the counselors have been pushing us to "step into leadership roles" and blah, blah blah. Yeah, it's especially shown through the whole ASB ordeal. With ASB primary elections, I can understand why it's such a huge deal to vote for this person and that person. But come ON. What is it that's making so many new people wanting to join? Is it the "easy" competition, or to pretty up college apps next year, or to make up for crappy grades, or the awesome sweater vests, or to genuinely make the school a better place? -____-

great, I'm all worked up now haha.
After ASB elections, so many clubs will be turned over to the hands of 2011. holy crap. It's finally happening.


p.s. "hate this, hate that." haha sorry x] I'm normally never this negative.

bad habit

OMGAH X____x Today at school I was walking to my locker in my track clothes and somebody told me, "Good luck!" And instead of saying "THANK YOU" like a normal person would, I just AUTOMATICALLY said "You too!" SHE'S NOT EVEN ON A SPORT! SHE WAS JUST WALKING AROUND (with her boyfriend :o), gackkk.
This isn't even the first time I've done that! I dunno, IT JUST COMES OUT THAT WAY D: I always just say, "you too!" without thinking. WHY!?!

must think before speaking -__-


Anyway!
Meet was okayy today. I did pretty well in the mile, but I don't really have any times to base it on since I've joined a sport and have gotten stronger. haha fine, I'm happy with my mile time(o: But my 2-mile was pretty disappointing. The pace I had at the first half was fine, but I lost it in the last mile D: ughhh. I didn't stop, but I just wish I hadn't slowed down so much! hahaha OH WELL!

Oxford did REALLY well against Magnolia. like, holy crap well hahah. Go oxford (o:

I can't wait to get spikes :3 The really cool ones can be up to $80, but if you're lucky you can find some REALLY sweet spikes for a lot cheaper. I think I gotta get them with my mom though, so we'll probably end up buying some cheap colorless pair. I'll just stain it with SWEAT and GRASS! MM!

hmm

i dunno. lol.
Yesterday I went to the NYU Abu Dhabi meeting, and it was a little scary. It does sounds pretty cool to go to meet all these international kids and study in Kenya and Egypt and wherever, but I don't think I'm ready for that. I wouldn't be able to study so far away from family and friends and the USA.
And as if I'd get accepted anyway. You'd have to be a super overachieving/involved student to get in. Maintaining good grades AND playing sports AND doing clubs AND religious life, and MAYBE family and friends in-between?! And EXCELLING AT EVERYTHING?! super achiever overload much? heoooo nah, I think I'd like to keep my sanity. How do people do it? I didn't go TOO crazy on the e-c's this year, and I'm having so much trouble not letting my grades go down, doing good enough on the SAT, running track, learning theory for piano, squeezing in community service, practicing french horn, and getting ready for Confirmation all at the same time. hahah but hey, junior year is tough, but at least it's not boring. right?!
Anyway, where was I?

another problem with NYU Abu Dhabi for me is that I have no clue what my major would be, and NYU Abu Dhabi is a liberal arts school (with science and engineering or something like that o____o'). lol I thought it was funny how the representative kept adding the "with science and engineering" part in.

haha well, I think I'll stick to colleges in the United States, thankyouverymuch. Although a full-ride to college does sounds pretty good T___T


tangent! First meet today~ I really don't know how I'll do. I'm not exactly in shape yet and my shins are starting to kill me, but I think I've conditioned enough to at least do my best and be ...okay? I ran 5 miles with Krystal on Monday, and I nearly died because that's the longest I've ran since cross country T___T dudeee... what happened in cross country?! How did I do it?! o____o
Well, I'll just set some easy goals for today and try not to die (o:

an eye for an eye

If that's what's going on, then I don't even know why you're trying to gouge my eyeballs out!

I wish that...

...I had the balls to say what I really need to say. This is getting out of hand and I don't know how much longer I can stand it. GRAHHH! D:<
The problem is that if I do tell X what's been pissing me off for quite some time, it's gonna screw up a lot of things. Not just for myself, but for some other people too...

sighh. Oh well.


ANYWAY. Sunday nights suck! ahhh. but oh well, I enjoyed my weekend (: Choir show friday, cindy's house saturday, SPEED SKATING (JR got dq'ed, WHAT?! & apolo (:), sunday nothing...~

bopeepbopeepbopeepbopeep ahh~

buuurp.

Something came up and made me really mad today afterschool, but then my dad randomly suggested that we eat dinner out at a buffet.

And so now it's all good.
(for now)

^w^


hahah yay for limitless stress eating.

they say that dreams won't come true if you tell people about them

but mine was so good that I DON'T CARE!


It was actually during a 15 minute power nap last night. I didn't even have a dream during my full block of sleep -__- Just during my nap.


anyway.
Me and my sister were on stage with Tegomass. Just a plain, gray platform stage. And Tegomass wasn't even singing. They were just there. lol
And so, I spy Tegomass from the other side of the stage, and me and my sister shyly approach them because heck, its TEGOSHI AND MASSUUUUU (:
And then I shove my camera into my sister's face and then make her take a picture of me with Massu.
And after she took it, Massu just kept saying, "one more, one more" in his Engrish and I thought, sure why not, I'll take a bajillion photos with him and I won't mind ;]


Then I woke up.
HAHAH.



That was seriously the best dream I've ever had (or, that I can remember right now). I dont know why. But I felt so good while I was dreaming. And I had to wake up for school and finals and all this crap, but... I felt good.

WIN!

you're perfect for me me me mee me

bwaahahah so much fuuun! Some things in our plan didn't work out, but that's alright :] Getting ready was actually so stressful! In reality, one hour to get ready is NOT enough. So we had to skip cue. Another time hopefully (: Props to Jenny and Vicky/Ashley, who did my hair and my makeup! Dude, everybody was so BEAUTIFUL. I really liked Ashley's dress. It was simple and very... classy? Cute? awww heck, I liked everybody's dresses! hehehee. Getting ready took WAY long than expected, and Tiffany barely made it ontime to her appointment! loool over the phone, James was freaking out ahahah. They so cute :]
But I felt bad for my mom, making two round trips to Cerritos Towne Center for us D: I love my mommyyy.
Anyyywaaaay. Cerritos Towne Center was pretty exciting :D There were all these Oxford people, dressed up and looking beauuutiful. The boutonniere & corsage that Nick got were so pretty! Imagix was a little weird, hahah... There were three stations, each a different pose. At the first station the lady was telling me all these orders and whaaaat? x---X And then at the other stations they kept telling me to put my hand on Nick's chest and things like "GET CLOSER, GET CLOSER, NOT THAT CLOSE!" Make up your mind people! We both felt a little awkward... haha x] Outside of Imagix, we saw Jasmine & Lynna! Maaan they were both so prettyyy (: I was a little sad that most of our group had to leave to pick up corsages/boutonnieres or something, cuz I REALLY wanted pictures with everyone ): oh weeell. There was still people waiting around Imagix and we got to camerawhore a little before it got too dark for pictures!
We went to Macaroni Grill for dinner (: Our group was SUPER HUGE so we split up into two tables. The tables were covered in paper & they gave us crayons to draw! ME LIKEYYY!! You'd think something like that would be casual, but.. it wasn't! The room was pretty dimly lit, and the place was nice. The bread that they gave us was a little too salty for my taste. I ordered a Pollo thingy, and it came with spaghetti. I had expected that the portions would be enormous, but they were just moderate. Well, in my standards. I had to finish Nick's pasta for him hahahah. For dessert, me and Nick ordered a 1500 calorie chocolate cake. HAHAH. oh maaan. x___x We had to share it all around, and even then it was hard to finish! Then came billing issues ): Even after everybody paid, we were short $60. Like, WTH! Not ten or twenty dollars, but SIXTY. I guess when some people left, they forgot to include tax and gratuity (which was seriously that much). i'm not sure what happened, but... eventually it was resolved. phewwww.
Then, we split up to go to the Reef! Well, some of us still had to go back to Imagix to pick out the poses that we took. some creepy lady came up to us and started asking us questions... and we were just like, walk faster, walk fasterrr o----O. Anywayy, pictures. I DON'T LIKE THE WAY I LOOK ): bakldsjflasdkj.
oh well... at least the pictures look way less awkward than the way it was to actually take them.
After Imagix round 2, me, Nick, Rhianna, and her date Steve waited around for his mom to take us to Long Beach. hahah Rhianna would be glad to know that I most definitely approve of Steve :]
Anyway, James was right when he said that getting to the Reef was confusing. We got lost. And even AT the restaurant a bunch of Oxford kids got lost -___- The ballroom that formal was held at was on the OTHER side of the place. But it was such a relief when we actually got there (: We were only half an hour late. which isn't too shabby hahah. EVERYBODY WAS SO CUTE! ahhhh.
Anyywaaayz. The dance floor got really hot and sweaty QUICK. But even still, the music was blasting super loudly & it was so much fun (: I'm still trying to remember what songs I liked so I can download them, but I can't. hahaha. Every time we would stepout for some icyyy water, my ears would ring cuz the music was that loud x---x hahah. There was also a contortionist, and she was doing stuff outside the dance room but nobody was really paying attention to her xD Only when she performed inside with loud music and stuff, people were crowding around and cheering for her. But I couldn't see anyway xD
The caricature artist was pretty cool though (: Me and Nick had wanted one of our Imagix pictures to be me pulling him on a wagon, but they actually choose your poses for you, so we had the caricature artist draw that for us (: I like it hahah! After that, us, James/Tiffany, Steve/Rhianna went out on the patio. It was really nice to be outside, and it overlooked the bay! Very pretty (: My heels sunk pretty deep into the grass though, but it felt coool x]
Nick/me and James/Tiffany took a break into the... break (?) room, and took self-timer pictures. I really hate flash hahah. The pictures without looked so much better. But anyway, they came out pretty cute! I likeee :D And then Alex & Lynna joined us later on.
Homecoming king & queen were Edwin and Valerie! Our cross country parents (: I'm glad Edwin won, he's one of the nicest and coooolest guys you'll ever meet.
I guess there weren't THAT many people at winter formal. It was still pretty crowded though. EVERYONE looked great :]
The dancing was really fun, again. I didn't really know a lot of the songs played, but it was still great to be able to let loose (: There were... three slow dances I think? One of them was Apologize. I never really considered that a slow dance-y type of song... o__o;.

Anywaaaaay. Formal went by SUPER FAST. ahhh! At the end, everybody was SUPER sweaty and tired and our feet hurt like heck. The lights went back on, and my bangs were disgusting, but I took still kept taking pictures hahah.
BUt after formal, my mom was supposed to pick us up, but she got SUPER hopelessly lost. ughhh. >_< We were by far the last people there, and the Reef even closed up and the workers had already cleaned up and gone home. baaaah. Sorry guys ): But I guess my mom was on the phone the whole time with my dad, trying to make sense of where to go the entire time we had to wait for her xD I was really scared she would be super pissed off, cuz she did a ton of driving earlier in the day too. and guess what, she was xD I fell asleep on the way homee and I hoped that mom wouldn't notice the caricature in my lap lol. Surprisingly, after when we got home and had already dropped off the girls at Vicky's house, my mom was just really pissed off at the place & Long Beach for being so inconspicuous and ridiculous. hahah. And seems like she bonded with my dad a little bit when she was frantically trying to get directions for the Reef? (they've been having some problems lately :/) But I was kinda happy to hear them banter with each other, while I was trying to hide and not be... third wheely.
Even though I had a 1000+ calorie dinner, I was realllyyy hungry. So I ate and took a bath, and by the time I hit the hay it was past 3:00.
I had planned to sleep in SO much, but I woke up at 10:30 to my grandma's voice T___T She was on the phone with somebody, and practically SCREAMING. But she wasn't screaming. That's her normal "phone conversation" voice. ughh!
But it's all good. Last night was so memorable and fun (: And now I gotta buttload of pictures to upload. ahhhh fun fun fun (: (:

I'MMMMM

getting a better feeling about things now :D wheheheh.


Anyway! Screw anatomy. It's all MADNESS I TELL YOU D: I'm gonna memorize 200+ muscle actions/origins/insertions not here, not now, NOT EVAR. Well, maybe not ever. idk. BUT NOT NOW, THATS FER SURE.

And I forgot all about APUSH homework until like, 9. I like the mexican man in my political cartoon. I'm kinda proud of him :'D
Uncle Sam just looks like he's doing the can-can. When really he's supposed to be kicking the Mexican back to Mexico. poor mexican man :[

And I really suck at coloring.